For the first time in a very long time my inner seasonalities are aligning with nature's journey through her own seasons. I find myself in a constant state of awe and wonder when this happens. Sinking into the seeming steadfast timing of our great mother as she holds true to shift and change.
I have been finding myself feeling as if I do not know myself at all. Gratefully, I am deeply aware that this is a beautiful part of being in transition. That feeling of unknown that seems to have slipped through every pore, every cell, every ounce of my being. Some moments filled with utter excitement as the horizon of becoming is almost touchable now and every-thing, both seen and not seen becomes possibility. And some days are filled with grief....utter heart breaking grief for who I was and am no longer, for who I thought I was and perhaps never had been. The leaving, the saying goodbye, be it to another or to myself, never quite gets easier, I just find myself having more grace for myself and the holy cycles as I grow.
And so here is a truth I've been pondering..... what if that heart break of endings and leavings, that which can feel so painful at times, what if it's simply the birth of a bigger and more extraordinary heart? What if the pain we feel in something ending or leaving, even if it's ourselves in transition, is simply the springtime of our own becoming? That final push to emerge free from the surface of the soil and blossom open into a new kind of living. What if we simply needed a little more space in the chambers of the heart to let the magick in?